What is Mental Health?

What is Mental Health?


By Elizabeth Szlek, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

There is much talk in the news about mental illness and everyone seems to understand what that is all about. As you read my columns in this paper, you and I will be looking at the present state of the mental health care in America, and together we will decide what is true and what is false. I guess you can already tell that I may have my doubts about a lot of what is going on…

However, as to the question of “What is mental health”?”, I am ready to go on record with some very clearly thought out ideas. I have a very solid idea of what mental health looks like, how to achieve it, and how to tell if someone is mentally healthy or not. For me, it all comes down to relationships.

The Four Relationships

I believe that for a person to be mentally healthy, they need to have four different kinds of good relationships. If these are in order, it is almost assured that the person will be able to function well in society, and will enjoy great peace of mind and peace. If, on the other hand, any of these relationships are in trouble or even missing, there will be less to be happy about. This will lead to mental distress and sometimes the person will become overwhelmed by life. So, what are these four types of relationships.?

The first relationship we must consider is the one we have with ourselves. This might seem like an odd thing to think about, but the truth is, many people are taught by those around them to think poorly of themselves. They are shamed and criticized, and, in a word, not loved enough. I spend a lot of time telling people they are wonderful, because – they are!

Family and Friends

Of course, no man is an island, and we all need to have good, loving relationships with our families, and with friends. Some people are lucky, and their parents loved them, disciplined them and taught them to value the things that endure. Others were not so lucky. They have trouble trusting others, since they have been so hurt. Perhaps they can even say they have no friends. This is indeed a troubling situation, and one which needs to be addressed.

Relationship with Community

Since we no longer live in a tribal society, but are part of a democratic country, we all need to be involved in something bigger than our family. We benefit from joining organizations which match our interests, whether that be a church, political party, sports group, a volunteer organization, or any other worthwhile group. Working and playing together, we form bonds of friendship with others, increase our feelings of competency and generosity, and we feel included.

Relationship with our Higher Power

I believe humans have a very real need for a connection to something greater than ourselves. This power is usually described as God, but some people have been hurt in their relationships to religious organizations, so we will use the more neutral term, Higher Power. This is somewhat mysterious to those who do not think about this type of relationship, but I think it is a necessary part of development of one’s greatest gifts.

A Final Word

This is my basic view of mental health. It’s all about how we are connecting to ourselves, to a Higher Power, to friends and family, and to the larger world around us. Sometimes it seems very difficult to manage all these facets of relationship well, but I will be discussing all four aspects of this struggle in my future columns. I certainly welcome your feedback and comments and questions. Let’s have some fun!

Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8900, or at info@thedoorcounseling.com