Flu Schmoo Two
By Elizabeth Szlek
For The Rome Observer, August 30, 2010
I’ve got two words for you: Swine Flu. Remember last year around this time? The fear-mongering was ramped up to overdrive, and all you heard about was Swine Flu. Those poor porcines took a real beating! Then, of course, we had to retrain ourselves to call it H1N1, which sounded much more clinical and possibly, scarier. After all, some of us (me) are quite fond of pigs. H1N1, a bug, I guess, not so much.
After much research into the matter, I decided that the whole thing was a big bunch of baloney. I wrote an article entitled “Flu Schmoo”, which got me booted off one of the papers I wrote for. It seems that I was the one who was spreading faulty and possibly dangerous information to the public. Hmmm. How did all that work out?
Well, it seems that the Swine Flu (I’ll stick to that name) “pandemic” was a bust. The disease which was to kill millions was declared officially over by the World Health Organization (WHO) on August ninth of this year. So, it’s over, done with, and we can all go on our merry ways.
But Wait, There’s More!
Some bad news: In the Southern Hemisphere, Australia has already gone into flu season, and they are reporting lots of adverse flu vaccine reactions in children under the age of five. They have reported many instances of convulsions, high fever and other serious effects following administration of the 2010 flu vaccine. Americans can expect the same reactions from the vaccine, and here is the kicker: This years flu vaccine contains the H1N1 vaccine! In other words, it has been incorporated into the vaccine, and our medical experts at the CDC have recommended that all Americans over the age of six months be vaccinated – no exceptions! Now, if negative responses in young children have already been noted, and even more serious problems, such as Guillian-Barre Syndrome, and a peculiar blood autoimmune disease have been reported in adult vaccine recipients, just how confident are we that this year’s vaccine will be safe for every single American?
We know that some people have predispositions to allergenic or other reactions to various vaccines, and that many people are highly susceptible to brain and cell damage from some of the ingredients added to vaccines, such as thimerosal, aluminum, or squalene. How can our government recommend universal vaccination of a little tested product? Even pregnant women are being implored to vaccinate themselves. Studies were to have been conducted on pregnant women who were administered last year’s Swine Flu vaccine, and then watched for seven months. But guess what? The results, good or bad, of this study have yet to surface.
We Didn’t Buy the Hype
Even though our medical establishment did its darndest to promote the Swine Flu vaccine through fear-mongering last fall, only 90 million Americans fell for it. That means only about 30% of us were vaccinated as recommended. Because the Swine Flu turned out to be a big bust, record taking was intentionally fudged to bump up the number of “cases”. As you all know, statistics can be made to say anything you want them to say, so what happened was, the powers-that-be told medical personnel to stop testing for the presence of H1N1, and just lump everyone who looked even vaguely fluish into the category of H1N1 sufferers. And even then, the numbers were a big yawn.
While most of us skipped the shots, there is another disturbing trend on the horizon. Pay attention to this: I remember last year some nurse friends of mine were in jeopardy of losing their jobs when they refused to get the Swine Flu vaccine. Eventually, reason prevailed, and NY State said they didn’t have to get it to keep their jobs, but here is the ominous part. This time around, and for all the future years, there are measures in waiting to coerce compliance with the “recommendation” to get a yearly flu shot. Here are some of the “inducements” coming down the pike: First, you will not be able to be educated in a regular school or college if you don’t get the vaccine. No more elementary school, high school, or college if you don’t comply. After that, other activities will be off limits to you unvaccinated ones. Consider this: You, an American citizen, may be barred from getting a driver’s license, from getting on a plane, or even holding a job if you refuse to get the recommended vaccines. We live in the Land of the Free?
What about my freedom to choose my own medical treatment? I personally, have only had one bout of what looked like the flu, decades ago. I never get flu shots, and I don’t get the flu. Why would I want to start getting shots now? Well, I wouldn’t. Immunity and resistance to germs comes from being in a state of strength, pursuing a diet regimen that promotes immunity, and from living a relatively stress-free life. No vaccine can give you those protections, especially when the vaccines themselves are loaded with toxins and sometimes, as with the recent pig rotavirus contamination, deadly germs.
To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate
I am not a medical Luddite. I have been saved from many infections by the judicious use of antibiotics. Other minor conditions have been helped by other drugs. However, when someone tells me I HAVE to get a vaccine that could harm me, I get worried. I was training to be a Hospice worker and was going along swimmingly until they told me I had to get a hepatitis vaccine in order to work for them as a volunteer. They also mentioned that I might get arthritis if I did so, a not uncommon side effect. That did it for me: Ciao! No hepatitis vaccine for me!
However, you may think you want to be vaccinated. Great! Go right ahead! But, if you do the research, it becomes clear that, for example, the elderly do not benefit from flu vaccines. Why expose them to danger for no reason? Why take a chance with pregnant women and their fetuses if the vaccine has not been thoroughly tested? Why give it to small children who run the risk of convulsions or high fever? Why give it to compromised individuals who might react to the toxins or germs in the vaccine? Why?
Answer? Dead silence………
Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8900 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Finding the Reason
Finding the Reason
By Elizabeth Szlek
August 23, 2010
In counseling adolescents, it invariably happens that the parents and the child are completely at odds as to the root of the problem. I usually take a look at the child and see something much different that what the parent sees. I call this “finding the reason” for the adolescent’s distress. And make no bones about it, there is always distress.
Usually, it isn’t too hard to find the reason, but sometimes it is a little tricky.
If we go through some of the main reasons, you will be able to see how these things go, and perhaps it will help you in dealing with your own adolescents.
Family Matters
First, I look at the family. Is it intact? Fractured families, of course, are one of the main causes of psychological distress in kids. Research definitively proves that divorce is disturbing to kids. Today, however, with the rising rates of single-never married parents, a new wrinkle appears: Kids who have never known their fathers, and whose fathers are completely out of the picture. I recall that during my years as a counselor to the male adolescents at the Madison County Jail, one thing stood out in my mind: First, only one inmate out of more than a hundred was from an intact family. The remainder of the boys all had very similar tales to tell. When they turned thirteen, fourteen or fifteen, they all started searching for the fathers that had left them behind. Some went as far as Montana or Florida to reconnect with their long-lost fathers. What were the results? By and large, the fathers gave them the message that they were not interested in their sons, and they didn’t want to have anything to do with them. The fact that these kids ended up in jail was no shock to me. If you are not valued by a parent, is it likely you will value your own life? You might as well do whatever comes to mind, including crime.
If the family is broken, the next question is: Who is living in the home? Is there a step-parent? Is the custodial parent remarried or just co-habiting? How many partners have gone through the doors in this child’s life? What kind of family stability does he or she know? And, most important, what is his or her relationship to the new partner or step-parent? These things usually don’t go well, so this is a great source of anguish for kids.
If, by some miracle, there comes to me an adolescent from an intact family, but there are still family issues, we need to look at such topics as: Is there a conflictual marital relationship? Is there abuse, addiction, or self-control issues? Is there a parental union, or are the parents at loggerheads as to how to discipline the kids? What is the position in birth order of the child? Are there issues with at-home siblings? Are there problems with grandparents or other family members? Getting a good idea of the important people in the child’s life is crucial. I always construct a genogram, a sort of family tree, and thus, I can see everyone in the family at a glance, noting the problems between various family members.
Identity Issues
It may happen, however, that the family is fine. Still, the child is having problems, whether at home, at school or with peers. Adolescence is a tough time for most people. The child’s main task at this age is developing an identity that will help navigate through life. It is important to understand our talents, gifts and personal interests, and to begin exploring how these can turn into careers.
One of the most devastating parts of adolescence is coping with changes in growth and development. Not everyone gets their growth spurt before high school. My own nephew was a very talented basketball player, but he was very short during most of high school. He could only get so far, and then the giants overtook him. Just for the record: He is now over six feet tall. But looking at him at fifteen, there was little hope for such a growth spurt. Imagine how kids who experience this kind of problem feel! When kids come in, I obviously notice how they look, and try to imagine if some of their problems stem from their appearance. Often, this is the case. Some things may change, but others are going to be permanent, and counseling young people to love themselves no matter what is always part of the counseling picture.
However, another problem for those who don’t look “perfect” is connected to the breakdown of civility in our nation. Kids these days, following the horrendous example of our entertainment industry, have become mean, and often bully other kids. Don’t’ get me wrong, I have stunningly beautiful clients who are bullied, and some who are less gorgeous. It could be jealousy or just plain opportunity, but bullies are everywhere.
Adolescents are loathe to speak about bullying, but I always bring it up, because suffering in silence is not the way to go if mental health is a priority. If they will confess being bullied, I always get the parents involved. Parents of kids being bullied need to advocate for their kids, strongly. If nothing else, this sends a message to the child that he or she is loved and that the parents want to protect him or her. Once parents and children become a team to fight bullying, things do change. Bullies will, unfortunately, just move on to someone who is unprotected. But, at least YOUR child will be OK. It is very important for kids to know their parents will not stand for their being abused!
Of course, in forming one’s identity, not everyone will choose to become a jock, or an artist or other positive role. There are also those who opt to be known as druggies, troublemakers, sexual adventurers, gang members or other negative roles. However, it is my belief that those who go that route have problems at home, which sends us back up to the top of this article.
Naturally, children who have suffered abuse and neglect will have significantly more serious problems. Working with dysfunctional parents, or parents in conflict with each other makes all this much more difficult. However, sometimes the work involves helping the child separate mentally from the abuse and building them up as individuals, and not stressing the family ties. This is, of course, a big job, but each child that comes to counseling truly is a wonderful creation, and deserves to live a life of peace and joy. It is a privilege to be able to step into the life of an adolescent and guide them to a new identity.
Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica, NY. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8990 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
By Elizabeth Szlek
August 23, 2010
In counseling adolescents, it invariably happens that the parents and the child are completely at odds as to the root of the problem. I usually take a look at the child and see something much different that what the parent sees. I call this “finding the reason” for the adolescent’s distress. And make no bones about it, there is always distress.
Usually, it isn’t too hard to find the reason, but sometimes it is a little tricky.
If we go through some of the main reasons, you will be able to see how these things go, and perhaps it will help you in dealing with your own adolescents.
Family Matters
First, I look at the family. Is it intact? Fractured families, of course, are one of the main causes of psychological distress in kids. Research definitively proves that divorce is disturbing to kids. Today, however, with the rising rates of single-never married parents, a new wrinkle appears: Kids who have never known their fathers, and whose fathers are completely out of the picture. I recall that during my years as a counselor to the male adolescents at the Madison County Jail, one thing stood out in my mind: First, only one inmate out of more than a hundred was from an intact family. The remainder of the boys all had very similar tales to tell. When they turned thirteen, fourteen or fifteen, they all started searching for the fathers that had left them behind. Some went as far as Montana or Florida to reconnect with their long-lost fathers. What were the results? By and large, the fathers gave them the message that they were not interested in their sons, and they didn’t want to have anything to do with them. The fact that these kids ended up in jail was no shock to me. If you are not valued by a parent, is it likely you will value your own life? You might as well do whatever comes to mind, including crime.
If the family is broken, the next question is: Who is living in the home? Is there a step-parent? Is the custodial parent remarried or just co-habiting? How many partners have gone through the doors in this child’s life? What kind of family stability does he or she know? And, most important, what is his or her relationship to the new partner or step-parent? These things usually don’t go well, so this is a great source of anguish for kids.
If, by some miracle, there comes to me an adolescent from an intact family, but there are still family issues, we need to look at such topics as: Is there a conflictual marital relationship? Is there abuse, addiction, or self-control issues? Is there a parental union, or are the parents at loggerheads as to how to discipline the kids? What is the position in birth order of the child? Are there issues with at-home siblings? Are there problems with grandparents or other family members? Getting a good idea of the important people in the child’s life is crucial. I always construct a genogram, a sort of family tree, and thus, I can see everyone in the family at a glance, noting the problems between various family members.
Identity Issues
It may happen, however, that the family is fine. Still, the child is having problems, whether at home, at school or with peers. Adolescence is a tough time for most people. The child’s main task at this age is developing an identity that will help navigate through life. It is important to understand our talents, gifts and personal interests, and to begin exploring how these can turn into careers.
One of the most devastating parts of adolescence is coping with changes in growth and development. Not everyone gets their growth spurt before high school. My own nephew was a very talented basketball player, but he was very short during most of high school. He could only get so far, and then the giants overtook him. Just for the record: He is now over six feet tall. But looking at him at fifteen, there was little hope for such a growth spurt. Imagine how kids who experience this kind of problem feel! When kids come in, I obviously notice how they look, and try to imagine if some of their problems stem from their appearance. Often, this is the case. Some things may change, but others are going to be permanent, and counseling young people to love themselves no matter what is always part of the counseling picture.
However, another problem for those who don’t look “perfect” is connected to the breakdown of civility in our nation. Kids these days, following the horrendous example of our entertainment industry, have become mean, and often bully other kids. Don’t’ get me wrong, I have stunningly beautiful clients who are bullied, and some who are less gorgeous. It could be jealousy or just plain opportunity, but bullies are everywhere.
Adolescents are loathe to speak about bullying, but I always bring it up, because suffering in silence is not the way to go if mental health is a priority. If they will confess being bullied, I always get the parents involved. Parents of kids being bullied need to advocate for their kids, strongly. If nothing else, this sends a message to the child that he or she is loved and that the parents want to protect him or her. Once parents and children become a team to fight bullying, things do change. Bullies will, unfortunately, just move on to someone who is unprotected. But, at least YOUR child will be OK. It is very important for kids to know their parents will not stand for their being abused!
Of course, in forming one’s identity, not everyone will choose to become a jock, or an artist or other positive role. There are also those who opt to be known as druggies, troublemakers, sexual adventurers, gang members or other negative roles. However, it is my belief that those who go that route have problems at home, which sends us back up to the top of this article.
Naturally, children who have suffered abuse and neglect will have significantly more serious problems. Working with dysfunctional parents, or parents in conflict with each other makes all this much more difficult. However, sometimes the work involves helping the child separate mentally from the abuse and building them up as individuals, and not stressing the family ties. This is, of course, a big job, but each child that comes to counseling truly is a wonderful creation, and deserves to live a life of peace and joy. It is a privilege to be able to step into the life of an adolescent and guide them to a new identity.
Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica, NY. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8990 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Some Thoughts on Politics
Some Thoughts on Politics
By Elizabeth Szlek
For the Rome Observer, August 2, 2010
Well, it’s that time of year again. Along with crabgrass and goldenrod, political signage is sprouting on lawns everywhere. We are again being pressed to consider candidates to supposedly represent “US” in various legislatures near and far. This time, thought, let’s consider a few ancient ideas on governance, and we may get a slightly different result.
The mood in America is angry, to say the least. In our state, New York, I think it has moved to something like general outrage. Perhaps we need a new, or an old paradigm, to decide just what lever to push when we enter the voting booth.
Good Old Aristotle
For political wisdom, you just can’t beat Aristotle. Do you think people have changed in the 2000+ years since Aristotle wrote Politics? Not by a long shot. So, let’s start at the fount of political scrutiny. Aristotle figured that there were actually six different possible political regimes. They differed as to the number of those ruling, and the kind of rule they exhibited, that is, good or bad. So, first we come to the rule of one person. This would be called a kingship. We have rulers in this class, even without the royal trappings. Rule by one person, with the intention of bringing about the common good is called kingly rule. I realize that in America we have trouble thinking that having a king over one could possibly be a good thing, but, throughout history, people have found this to be so. He has much power, but he thinks of the good of his subjects, and that is that.
On the other hand, we have seen lots of examples of the second category of rule by one person: Tyranny. This is what we cited as the reason for the American Revolution. Just think about Idi Amin, and you get the picture. The tyrant rules only for his own advantage, and cares little or nothing about how his rule truly affects his subjects. No one can get behind this kind of regime, unless they are cold, callous and wicked.
Next we come to regimes where a few people rule. The first of these is called an aristocracy. If we look at that word, it means the rule of the best, or the most noble. The best people are not grasping sociopaths, so an aristocratic regime should, in theory, be a benign one, where the rulers again look to the common good. The corollary to this is an oligarchy, which means rule by a few, with the meaning that they are ruling for their own advantage and not for the common good. Remember that.
Next, we come to what most of us think is American governing style. It is the rule of the many, but for the common good, and such a regime is called a polity. We would love to believe this is what happens when good Americans send good representatives to their legislatures, but I guess it isn’t happening any more, if it ever did.
Finally, we have rule by the many, for their own advantage, rather than the common good. Surprisingly, this is called a democracy! Now, when I read this, I was shocked, shocked! I had no idea that the idea of a democracy was one of selfishness. I always thought it represented the highest, most ideal form of government.
Reconsidering the Federalists
Many of you are familiar with the Federalist Papers, written largely by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay. These men were arguing for a strong central government, at the expense of the power of the individual states. We see this theme being played out today in the struggles of Arizona to control its undocumented alien population. The question is: Will the federal judges be able to quash the rights of this state to determine its own policies? The jury is out yet, but I wouldn’t bet on Arizona. The federal government is almost totalitarian in its powers at this point. Your guns will be the next thing to go, I think.
You might say that the Federalists, especially Hamilton, had strong aristocratic leanings. One of the main arguments of the Federalists was for the federal government to have enough power to tax the people in order to maintain security of the nation. Of course, citizens lost this battle a long time ago with the introduction of the federal income tax, and then all the other taxes leading to the entitlements. If you would like to follow these arguments, you can read C.S. Lewis’ The Abolition of Man, or Alexis de Toqueville’s Democracy in America, or even Friedrich von Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom. I know I wrote this before, but I always think about my college astronomy course, where we measured the parallax of stars. In measuring this way, an infinitesimal aberration of a part of one degree, multiplied out, would lead you to someplace millions of miles off from your destination. That’s sort of like the way our nation has been progressing, in my mind. We thought we were aiming for the right place, but now, we can’t get there from here!
So Who is Really Ruling in America?
In my mind, we do not have a polity, since few Americans are truly concerned about the common good. We do not even have a democracy at the upper levels of government. What we have now is an oligarchy. Rule by the few over the many, for their own advantage.
You might say, but we have elected officials, representatives. They do our will! Let’s see if that is really so.
It is no secret that fundraising is a major job of anyone running for any elected office. He (or she) with the most funds usually prevails. And, because of their “donations” the oligarchs call the shots all along the board. Who are the real rulers? The heads of the multinational corporations which dominate our lives, from the kinds of food they sell, to the drugs they push, to the trade agreements which have devastated our land and reduced much of it to rusting poverty. When you hear someone say that he or she wants to run our governments “like a business”, I say, “Beware!” Businesses do not care for the common good; they only look, with greedy eyes, to profits.
Elizabeth Szlek is a former State Department candidate for the Foreign Service, and is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica, NY. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 7687-8900 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
By Elizabeth Szlek
For the Rome Observer, August 2, 2010
Well, it’s that time of year again. Along with crabgrass and goldenrod, political signage is sprouting on lawns everywhere. We are again being pressed to consider candidates to supposedly represent “US” in various legislatures near and far. This time, thought, let’s consider a few ancient ideas on governance, and we may get a slightly different result.
The mood in America is angry, to say the least. In our state, New York, I think it has moved to something like general outrage. Perhaps we need a new, or an old paradigm, to decide just what lever to push when we enter the voting booth.
Good Old Aristotle
For political wisdom, you just can’t beat Aristotle. Do you think people have changed in the 2000+ years since Aristotle wrote Politics? Not by a long shot. So, let’s start at the fount of political scrutiny. Aristotle figured that there were actually six different possible political regimes. They differed as to the number of those ruling, and the kind of rule they exhibited, that is, good or bad. So, first we come to the rule of one person. This would be called a kingship. We have rulers in this class, even without the royal trappings. Rule by one person, with the intention of bringing about the common good is called kingly rule. I realize that in America we have trouble thinking that having a king over one could possibly be a good thing, but, throughout history, people have found this to be so. He has much power, but he thinks of the good of his subjects, and that is that.
On the other hand, we have seen lots of examples of the second category of rule by one person: Tyranny. This is what we cited as the reason for the American Revolution. Just think about Idi Amin, and you get the picture. The tyrant rules only for his own advantage, and cares little or nothing about how his rule truly affects his subjects. No one can get behind this kind of regime, unless they are cold, callous and wicked.
Next we come to regimes where a few people rule. The first of these is called an aristocracy. If we look at that word, it means the rule of the best, or the most noble. The best people are not grasping sociopaths, so an aristocratic regime should, in theory, be a benign one, where the rulers again look to the common good. The corollary to this is an oligarchy, which means rule by a few, with the meaning that they are ruling for their own advantage and not for the common good. Remember that.
Next, we come to what most of us think is American governing style. It is the rule of the many, but for the common good, and such a regime is called a polity. We would love to believe this is what happens when good Americans send good representatives to their legislatures, but I guess it isn’t happening any more, if it ever did.
Finally, we have rule by the many, for their own advantage, rather than the common good. Surprisingly, this is called a democracy! Now, when I read this, I was shocked, shocked! I had no idea that the idea of a democracy was one of selfishness. I always thought it represented the highest, most ideal form of government.
Reconsidering the Federalists
Many of you are familiar with the Federalist Papers, written largely by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay. These men were arguing for a strong central government, at the expense of the power of the individual states. We see this theme being played out today in the struggles of Arizona to control its undocumented alien population. The question is: Will the federal judges be able to quash the rights of this state to determine its own policies? The jury is out yet, but I wouldn’t bet on Arizona. The federal government is almost totalitarian in its powers at this point. Your guns will be the next thing to go, I think.
You might say that the Federalists, especially Hamilton, had strong aristocratic leanings. One of the main arguments of the Federalists was for the federal government to have enough power to tax the people in order to maintain security of the nation. Of course, citizens lost this battle a long time ago with the introduction of the federal income tax, and then all the other taxes leading to the entitlements. If you would like to follow these arguments, you can read C.S. Lewis’ The Abolition of Man, or Alexis de Toqueville’s Democracy in America, or even Friedrich von Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom. I know I wrote this before, but I always think about my college astronomy course, where we measured the parallax of stars. In measuring this way, an infinitesimal aberration of a part of one degree, multiplied out, would lead you to someplace millions of miles off from your destination. That’s sort of like the way our nation has been progressing, in my mind. We thought we were aiming for the right place, but now, we can’t get there from here!
So Who is Really Ruling in America?
In my mind, we do not have a polity, since few Americans are truly concerned about the common good. We do not even have a democracy at the upper levels of government. What we have now is an oligarchy. Rule by the few over the many, for their own advantage.
You might say, but we have elected officials, representatives. They do our will! Let’s see if that is really so.
It is no secret that fundraising is a major job of anyone running for any elected office. He (or she) with the most funds usually prevails. And, because of their “donations” the oligarchs call the shots all along the board. Who are the real rulers? The heads of the multinational corporations which dominate our lives, from the kinds of food they sell, to the drugs they push, to the trade agreements which have devastated our land and reduced much of it to rusting poverty. When you hear someone say that he or she wants to run our governments “like a business”, I say, “Beware!” Businesses do not care for the common good; they only look, with greedy eyes, to profits.
Elizabeth Szlek is a former State Department candidate for the Foreign Service, and is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica, NY. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 7687-8900 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
What Kids Really Need
What Kids Really Need
By Elizabeth Szlek
For the Rome Observer, August 16, 2010
I read with interest a front-page story in the Observer-Dispatch yesterday entitled “A Lost Generation”, which concerned itself with the efforts of the “courts, social service agencies and even families” (emphasis mine) to solve the problems of juvenile crime and misconduct.
Kids are getting out of control, it would seem, and trying to control them is costing us all millions and millions of dollars every year. And, of course, it is only getting worse. Several agencies mentioned in the article spend thousands of dollars each month on one kid, trying to get them to function in a minimally acceptable way. And, they are failing.
What they are trying is this: Behavior modification, anger management classes, and especially, strong psychotropic, or mind-altering medication, designed to shut down the brain of these often violent and aggressive kids. One boy, featured in the article is routinely downing four different potent psychotropic drugs. But his will to act is still not dented, and he gets in a lot of trouble, and has been kicked out of several schools already. He’s nine. No one in the article seemed bothered by having this kid's brain shut down with drugs.
The Kids Respect Me!
One “service provider” quoted in the article said that he is helping the kids because “these guys respect me!” So, for him, finding someone the kids to respect is the key to helping them. I see it differently. But, I’ll get into that. Another provider is quoted as saying, “It’s all soul work”, referring to helping these very troubled kids. But the drugs interfere with the soul! Everyone agrees we need more programs, more money, and I am sure, lots more drugs, to get this whole thing under control. Because, of course, there is something wrong with these kids!
Having worked for these same agencies myself, and also being a supervisor for other counselors who share their cases with me, I can tell you one thing. The problem is not the kids at all! It’s something else altogether.
You can drug kids, give them behavioral managers, take them out for ice cream, and take them away and lock them up when they do something really “bad”, but there is one thing no one is doing in any of these situations- the thing that needs to be done if anything is really going to change: Teach the parents how to be kind, loving, and respectful to their children, teach them self control, how to respect others and to love and to thrive. This is what used to pass for family values in the past, but I know this is passé now. Now, the state, and the social service agencies are filling in for quite damaging and useless parents, who only know how to hurt their own children.
One chilling statement was that a woman whose own son was sent away for his bad behavior runs a daycare center where she cares for about twenty young children. How scary is that? You have failed to produce a functioning child, and yet others entrust their most precious children to your care. I was stunned to read that one! I guess the Bible verse, “Physician, heal thyself” isn’t bandied about much these days!
What Are the Causes of Such Disturbances?
A couple of examples of really bad parenting from some recent cases come to mind to illustrate where things are going wrong. First, I heard of a case where the mother has been telling her daughter for about five years that she doesn’t “like” her. This is horrific, but beyond that, it seems that the child, who is only eight, has most of the worst habits of her mother, which is what makes the mother dislike her child. When I spoke to her, I said, “The next time Tiffany does something you don’t like, I want you to tell yourself, ‘I did this to her.’”
Yes, Mom, if your child imitates your bad behavior, you have ONLY yourself to blame. You cannot blame your child, for imitation is the highest form of flattery. YOU made her that way! And guess what? You need to correct your own behavior before asking her to do the same! Oh, sorry! I guess it means you will have to acquire some self-control! Gee, why don’t we just drug her?
Another even worse case revolves around a boy who is soon to be shipped away to some "placement", away from his mother, who verbally assaults him virtually every waking moment. She hates her own son. However, when the child spends time with others, he is able to control his behavior quite well. It’s only when Mom starts screaming and swearing at him that he loses it! Now, really, can you blame the kid?
I really don’t care what a kid has done; I always look to the parents first to see what their involvement may be. So many kids today are simply unwanted and certainly unloved, by their own parents! I can’t really wrap my mind around this kind of travesty.
Is this because, in our age of free love without commitment, so many children are born without being desired in the first place? Kids growing up without fathers do not have an easy time of it, to be sure. The second kid’s father is incarcerated, and this is probably a source of his great unhappiness, since they had a good relationship. But why does his mother need to punish her son? And, as for the first child, how can a mother be so blind as to not see her own responsibility in the bad behavior of a child?
Nothing will ever bring children to functional wholeness except the kindness, love and discipline of their parents. Others can attempt to step in, but respect of one’s parents, in regarding their children as wonderful creations, given to them by God, will never be replaced by social service agency workers.
Children deserve respect, and love- not drugs- is the answer to the wounds of their souls. Children who are rejected and disrespected are angry. Drugging them into some kind of submissive state only masks their anguish, and postpones their aggressive drive for respect and belonging. Real families support and nurture their children, and this starts when the parents form a lasting, respectful and loving union with each other – before the children start arriving.
Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8900 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
By Elizabeth Szlek
For the Rome Observer, August 16, 2010
I read with interest a front-page story in the Observer-Dispatch yesterday entitled “A Lost Generation”, which concerned itself with the efforts of the “courts, social service agencies and even families” (emphasis mine) to solve the problems of juvenile crime and misconduct.
Kids are getting out of control, it would seem, and trying to control them is costing us all millions and millions of dollars every year. And, of course, it is only getting worse. Several agencies mentioned in the article spend thousands of dollars each month on one kid, trying to get them to function in a minimally acceptable way. And, they are failing.
What they are trying is this: Behavior modification, anger management classes, and especially, strong psychotropic, or mind-altering medication, designed to shut down the brain of these often violent and aggressive kids. One boy, featured in the article is routinely downing four different potent psychotropic drugs. But his will to act is still not dented, and he gets in a lot of trouble, and has been kicked out of several schools already. He’s nine. No one in the article seemed bothered by having this kid's brain shut down with drugs.
The Kids Respect Me!
One “service provider” quoted in the article said that he is helping the kids because “these guys respect me!” So, for him, finding someone the kids to respect is the key to helping them. I see it differently. But, I’ll get into that. Another provider is quoted as saying, “It’s all soul work”, referring to helping these very troubled kids. But the drugs interfere with the soul! Everyone agrees we need more programs, more money, and I am sure, lots more drugs, to get this whole thing under control. Because, of course, there is something wrong with these kids!
Having worked for these same agencies myself, and also being a supervisor for other counselors who share their cases with me, I can tell you one thing. The problem is not the kids at all! It’s something else altogether.
You can drug kids, give them behavioral managers, take them out for ice cream, and take them away and lock them up when they do something really “bad”, but there is one thing no one is doing in any of these situations- the thing that needs to be done if anything is really going to change: Teach the parents how to be kind, loving, and respectful to their children, teach them self control, how to respect others and to love and to thrive. This is what used to pass for family values in the past, but I know this is passé now. Now, the state, and the social service agencies are filling in for quite damaging and useless parents, who only know how to hurt their own children.
One chilling statement was that a woman whose own son was sent away for his bad behavior runs a daycare center where she cares for about twenty young children. How scary is that? You have failed to produce a functioning child, and yet others entrust their most precious children to your care. I was stunned to read that one! I guess the Bible verse, “Physician, heal thyself” isn’t bandied about much these days!
What Are the Causes of Such Disturbances?
A couple of examples of really bad parenting from some recent cases come to mind to illustrate where things are going wrong. First, I heard of a case where the mother has been telling her daughter for about five years that she doesn’t “like” her. This is horrific, but beyond that, it seems that the child, who is only eight, has most of the worst habits of her mother, which is what makes the mother dislike her child. When I spoke to her, I said, “The next time Tiffany does something you don’t like, I want you to tell yourself, ‘I did this to her.’”
Yes, Mom, if your child imitates your bad behavior, you have ONLY yourself to blame. You cannot blame your child, for imitation is the highest form of flattery. YOU made her that way! And guess what? You need to correct your own behavior before asking her to do the same! Oh, sorry! I guess it means you will have to acquire some self-control! Gee, why don’t we just drug her?
Another even worse case revolves around a boy who is soon to be shipped away to some "placement", away from his mother, who verbally assaults him virtually every waking moment. She hates her own son. However, when the child spends time with others, he is able to control his behavior quite well. It’s only when Mom starts screaming and swearing at him that he loses it! Now, really, can you blame the kid?
I really don’t care what a kid has done; I always look to the parents first to see what their involvement may be. So many kids today are simply unwanted and certainly unloved, by their own parents! I can’t really wrap my mind around this kind of travesty.
Is this because, in our age of free love without commitment, so many children are born without being desired in the first place? Kids growing up without fathers do not have an easy time of it, to be sure. The second kid’s father is incarcerated, and this is probably a source of his great unhappiness, since they had a good relationship. But why does his mother need to punish her son? And, as for the first child, how can a mother be so blind as to not see her own responsibility in the bad behavior of a child?
Nothing will ever bring children to functional wholeness except the kindness, love and discipline of their parents. Others can attempt to step in, but respect of one’s parents, in regarding their children as wonderful creations, given to them by God, will never be replaced by social service agency workers.
Children deserve respect, and love- not drugs- is the answer to the wounds of their souls. Children who are rejected and disrespected are angry. Drugging them into some kind of submissive state only masks their anguish, and postpones their aggressive drive for respect and belonging. Real families support and nurture their children, and this starts when the parents form a lasting, respectful and loving union with each other – before the children start arriving.
Elizabeth Szlek is the Director of The Door Counseling Center of Utica. Questions and comments can be directed to her at (315) 768-8900 or at info@thedoorcounseling.com.
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